Research has shown that a third of Marriages begin with an online date; be it fully meeting on an online dating platform, or a social media platform.
Our online presence, is in many ways, an opportunity for exposure. It gives us a chance to meet or interact with people we would otherwise never have had a chance to meet. Gone are the days when the only people we could potentially date were those within our circle.
Besides that fact, it is also gives a massive advantage to those that wouldn’t pluck the courage to start chatting you up face to face, those that feel a little more comfortable sliding in to your DM’s to create that rapport before the initial meet. In any case, the internet takes a win when it comes to dating!
So why is it not working for you?
Here are 5 Main reasons you aren’t Successful with online dating!
1. Your online profile Sucks!
– If you are a single lady, or man… (Not discriminating here) then you should think of your profile as your brand! People buy brands; how you present yourself matters!
Your profile is an advertisement! Its main Job is to attract attention from potential partners. Attention that causes them to engage with you. If your Profile is not well formulated, then two things are true about your online experience. (a) You are getting no attention at all, (b) You are attracting the wrong people.
Eighty percent (80%), of your success online will depend on your profile!
2. Your attitude is wrong
-We’ve all heard that energy is everything! When your outlook of a thing is negative to begin with, chances are the outcome will align with your expectations. Like attracts like.
If you are going to approach the dating world, with the mindset that confesses “all men are trash”, “the good ones are all taken” then I would like to tell you now that you are not ready to start dating. What you need is healing!
The good ones aren’t all taken , when I was single I told myself all the time that, I was a good one, and I wasn’t taken yet so there must be many more like me out there, both men and women! And even if by some madness they were in fact taken, be sure to know that there are many stupid people out there who don’t know how to treasure a good thing, so they’d lose it …it’s just a matter of time! There are many good men and women out there! Be positive and expect someone good to walk into your life!
A positive outlook will shine through you, it’ll shine through your engagement with people, and you will agree with me, no-one wants a downer’s company!
3. Your engagement is off
-While your profile will cause people to want to engage with you, your engagement is what keeps them interested in you. Imagine your profile as your pretty face, What is does is attract. Your engagement however is your character. What that does is maintain a relationship!!!! How do you engage with the people that approach you?
No matter how beautiful a person may be, or lack of, how you engage with people could either put them off completely or think hmmm, I like this person actually, we connect!
A commonly made mistake is when you go in with a wrong attitude, or carrying baggage from past relationships or disappointment from unmaterialized online relationships, you start treating everyone with suspicion and resentment!
This will translate into rude remarks, unenthusiastic responses or suspicious behavior. All these regardless of how a man likes you, he won’t stick around! You need to bear in mind that there are millions of people online, all only a swipe away! People online don’t really have time for the patience to figure you out, you have to present yourself untangled.
4. You are putting too much pressure on yourself
When you put too much pressure on yourself to make a relationship work, you come off as desperate, and desperate is not a GOOD LOOK!
Understand, accept and reconcile with the fact that not everyone you date is THE ONE. Some connections are just learning experiences, some are there to help you discover yourself, your passion, what’s important and what isn’t.
So the best attitude is to have fun with dating, think of it as an opportunity to get to meet new people, and if it turns out good then Yay!!! But making wedding plans, or arranging to meet the parents after 2 dates is crazy! Asking where the relationship is headed after a few dates or being too forward will have you lose what would’ve developed into a good relationship had you taken your time and taken things slow.
Some people are sure of themselves and how they want to proceed after a date or two, some need time to get to that place. Allow things to develop naturally!!!
Now finally but certainly not least,
5. You are not yourself
We are all different in many ways and that is our individual super power! Your uniqueness is what sets you apart from the rest! Like I said, there are millions of single people online and offline. What makes you the one a man/woman falls in love with out of the millions?
It’s the uniqueness of you. It could be your weirdness, could be that he finds your honesty refreshing. It could be your strength, or the fact that you are a couch potato. It could be your love of strange things, whatever it is that you are, you are not using it to your benefit.
Society has painted a picture of what beauty is, what charm and what sexy is. But guess what, beauty, charm, sexiness is different for every person!
So when we strive to become or when we pretend to be what we think is what the other person would potentially find attractive in us, all we do is get lost in the crowd!
If a man has dated 1 girl, that means he has dated 10 since you all almost think and act alike. It really is boring!
The confidence to just be your self is sexy, and when you harness your individuality you automatically set yourself apart from the rest!
If you apply and make the needful changes, you will see a significant difference in you online dating experience!
I hope you have enjoyed this article.