Today I had a long spaced out think time. I thought about how sometimes lack of patience in a relationship, kills what would’ve actually been a good relationship, when we don’t add wisdom to our quest if not how we live our lives as a whole.
I was reminded of what must have been the very first time Mr. X took me to Exeter. I thought of how sometimes impatience can ruin and also how unhealed hearts can ruin what would’ve been a good relationship.
In the early parts of our dating, most time was spent travelling. When I first met him, I was in the process of extending my visa in the UK, so all of our travels were domestic. This really opened me up to how beautiful England is, I fell in love with the country, the nature, the things about it I hadn’t experienced.
We took off from Bigging Hill as we normally did, and flew to Exeter Airport. From there we took a rental and drove down to Branscombe Beach.
Now, here is a funny story about what happened at Branscombe beach, he took me there one Saturday morning, It wasn’t a planned trip, I had met him for a date the night before, I definitely was dressed for the night and not day but had spent the night with him. He suggested we fly to the coast, I was still dressed in my black play suit from the night before, and I did the walk of shame in the morning in my Red Top Shop Sandals.
Anyway we flew to Devon, he saw this landing strip on the computer thing, and decided to proceed and land. It was an old army base landing strip in a remote location. After we had landed, we noticed a few people coming closer to have a look; we then learnt that there was a camping site nearby; any way Mr. X started to talk to the guys who happened to be flying enthusiasts, they told us that there was a beautiful beach a few miles down the road, with an excellent restaurant. Again, I was still wearing my little play suit, and the sandals (heels, they hurt me so much that day, that I’ve never worn them again since, but I keep them for memories). They said it wasn’t far. Mr. X loves to walk and so do I, but only in comfortable shoes… otherwise NO!!
We set off for this beach; it was a dusty road with gravel. Now I know every girl reading this that wears heels understands what I mean, as if my situation wasn’t bad enough looking like a prostitute working overtime in my CITY night clothes, now on a country road with heels that are killing me so slowly and painfully, that I had stopped talking to him! Thinking to myself, “What on earth is he thinking?” How could he seriously think its ok to make me walk here like this?” Oblivious to what I was feeling he kept walking, smiling at me, making jokes about my rear treasure (ass)…“How much longer?” I asked every few minutes, I think at some point my walk had changed, and he asked if I was ok…….I was enraged! @!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! “What do you mean am I ok?” I had two main problems at this point, my feet were killllling me and I was hungry! This meant all mannerisms had left me, my accent had reverted to factory settings (you could hear the African in me with every word I spoke), I didn’t care about my image to him anymore, the real me was driving this car! “Can you not see that these shoes aren’t for here? In fact if you had told me we would be coming here I wouldn’t have come! I look like a cheap prostitute, look at how people are staring at me” he apologised blah blah blah, he dint realise I was in pain yada yada yada!
Then he said, “Well I don’t think they are staring because you look like a prostitute, but the probably think I’m a billionaire, or I’ve kidnapped you. I mean you are so hot and walking here with a man 20 years older than you!” Confused I looked at him? “Is that supposed to make me feel better?” I heard gold digger and sugar baby which bluntly means prostitute!” He laughed and offered to piggyback me. Aaah! At last the romance was creeping back in, and simultaneously so was my fine, refined persona making its way back to the driving seat, but sadly that was short lived.
I smelled and asked if he was sure when he offered to piggyback me, he said “of course saddle up,” I warned him I was heavy! Now just before I dove into the dating pool, I had been on a weight loss journey and had lost a lot of weight, I was at my perfect size and my confidence would need a whole excavator to knock down, however, I knew I’m not the kind of weight he can piggyback, but obviously being a woman of wisdom that I am, knowing the last thing a woman should ever do is kill or bruise a man’s Ego! So I was like “Ok….. Where do I begin my saddling?” I hopped on and aaaggh, just being off my feet even for a brief moment was such a relief, but after a few steps on Mr. X’s side he agreed that I was heavy boned because he couldn’t carry on ?
So back I got on the gravel road to a beach I quite frankly could not care for anymore! Did I mention that I was also introduced to nettles on this day? As it was a warm and sunny day, ( rare and treasured in England) there was a bit of traffic to the beach and every time we had to give way to the cars, me in my little play suit and bare legs, I got stung and started complaining and scratching, he told me they were nettles. I asked what that is, he laughed, “you don’t know what nettles are? You really are a city girl.” At this point nettles hunger and shoes? I had way too many problems and I had to control what I could. So I decided to take off the shoes and walk bare foot.
“Oh no, that going to hurt you feet even more” he told me. I looked at him and replied, “Listen, I’m an African girl who’s actually spent A LOT of time in an actual village running around bare foot… trust me I can handle this” So I took off the Sandals and gave them to him . aaaah relief! Yes it was not completely comfortable but it was discomfort I could bear!
After what seemed like a 10 km walk, we arrived at the beach. It was beautiful!! Was it worth the trouble I had gone through to get there? Well, that an easy NO!! ?
He led me to the restaurant as soon as he spotted it; unfortunately they had already stopped serving lunch, only sandwiches and cakes…… ? I was disappointed. We (while I sulked) ate our sandwiches and he got me a slice of every cake they had, as I said I wasn’t a cake person so not sure which one was worth the calories… He said take a nibble of each and find the one you’re willing to risk it all for… we laughed and my mood was obviously better. The power of Sugar!!!
I excused myself to use the ladies room and I thought of how nice and adventurous the day was, and I felt happy being there with him regardless of my troubles so I decided to treat him. I took a naughty picture of myself while in the ladies room (disclaimer; NOT A NUDE), that he was so HAPPILY surprised about. I saw his big boyish grin as I walked back to him from the ladies room. He held my hand, said nothing and kissed my forehead. Even though he said nothing, I heard I Love You, the way he held my hand, I felt him making acclaim that I was his.
“I have a surprise for you” he said to me while handing me a pair of blue water shoes, It felt like he had handed me a pair on Christian Louboutins, I was so happy!! He helped me put them on and led me on the beach where I sat down and he conveniently laid his head on my lap as we watched kids play, all kinds of bikini’s and trunks. We laughed, talked and just had some fun.
Our Trek back wasn’t as bad as I was in comfortable shoes, high on Sandwiches and cake; most importantly I had learnt how to avoid nettles. He picked wild flowers and put them in my hair, we enjoyed each other’s company and I was falling fast!
We flew back to London, got into our car, which took us back to his hotel, (I had left my purse there). Now imagine me walking back into the hotel with water shoes, salt water streaks all over my legs, it was a sight to behold. I felt self conscious!! Like I didn’t belong at all, but he held my hand adoringly and led me to the elevators, that took us to his room.
After I had a shower, exhausted from all that walking and the sea, I had to return home, this single mother had to return back to her baby boy whom I had left in the good care of a friend