After the whole Iphone saga we went on to connect and enjoy each other’s company, our relationship was going on great, I was happy and so was he, but money was still an Elephant in the room. I knew I had to exercise wisdom to navigate around it.
See I am a girl that wants to be treated and looked after, that doesn’t mean that I can’t take care of myself but at this point in my life I wanted a man that can take care of me.
I had been in a series of relationships with men that did the bare minimum, truthfully men that I had to take care of financially, you know that one man that’s always asking you for a financial bump, one that’s always short here and there and I having to work full time and some, while he sits at home working on some dream or whatever else.
I had been through it all and this time came to a conclusion that I had fully paid my dues to society when it came to dating broke men , men with a potential , I had done that, and done it well, now it as MY time.
I had decided I deserved to be treated and spoiled and that’s just that, NO apologies! So when I started dating I definitely paid attention to everything I wanted.
So there I was dating an amazing man with whom I was falling in love but I knew that the issue of money wasn’t going away. He would take me to the most expensive hotels and restaurants, I was experiencing the finer things in life and it was good, but I wanted more. Like I stated in my earlier posts, I didn’t just want to be his twinkie, a girl he sees here and there, or for holiday fun or just a summer fun thing, I wanted to be HIS girl.
I decided to do something different; mind you I was a Carer at the time, my monthly wage must’ve been around £1000 or there about, which means I didn’t have a lot of financial room to wiggle about or for anything extravagant. I was barely making ends meet, however, I decided to do something different, I decided to give him something. Whether be it from my Christian upbringing, or life’s experience, I have always believed in giving, there are some barriers in life you need wisdom to break through.
Any way I took half of my salary and made my way to one of London’s exclusive streets, Sloane Street! I had seen all these rich men shopping in Tom Ford on instagram and I decided that was what I wanted for him… (Before me he wasn’t into designer stuff). I remember walking into Tom ford, I didn’t own any designer items at that point, but I dressed well, I presented myself well, I had learnt that people respond kindly or better when you present yourself well ( I had watched enough movies and vlogs, I knew how to act like I have money CONFIDENTLY!). The door man opened the door for me with little nod, to which I smiled as I made my way to a lovely lady that had a big smile, welcomed me, and called me madam! Right away a bulb lit up in me! Yes!! This is it! This is the life I want to live! It really was that simple!
I confidently smiled and asked for the men’s department, and she so kindly took me there and introduced me to her colleague who worked in the men’s there. When asked how she could help me, I confidently said I was looking for boxers and socks for my boyfriend. The lady went away and came back with a variety of boxers and socks, I picked what I wanted, paid and left! It was a good day!
Following week was date weekend, (IF YOU DON’T KNOW THE BACK STORY PLEASE READ PREVIOUS ARTICLES) He flew into Farnborough Air port where he found me waiting for him. I had started making changes at this point, keeping time etc. I had realised that poor time keeping reflected badly on me, it was disrespectful and generally just bad taste, unless if it can’t be helped.
We flew into Newquay Airport in Cornwall, from there drove to Charlestown in St Austell.
I could not wait to hand him the gift I had bought. I was so excited!
So after we had had our evening shower and were about to go to bed I nonchalantly said to him, “Oh, I almost forgot, I got you something”, as I reached into my suitcase and brought out a Tom Ford shopping bag, he sat up on the bed, looking as I handed him the bag. “Oh what’s this” he said while emptying the contents. Now I need to say this real quick, I don’t care what people say, everyone loves to receive gifts!! Thats just a fact!
“Oh thank you Monica! Why did you get me these?” he asked going through his two pairs of socks and a pack of boxers. “I went shopping and I thought of you” I replied. He kept thanking and kissing me. He told me of how this was his first time anyone gave him a gift that wasn’t for Christmas or his birthday. He made a joke that only his mother gets him books as presents. We laughed and talked some more before he hugged me and slept. I could tell he was genuinely touched by my efforts, It wasn’t the gift itself, it was just the fact that I GAVE him.
We enjoyed the rest of our time in Cornwall and headed back to London after the weekend, as it was a long weekend, we still had a few days together in London.
On the following day after our arrival in London we decided to go for a walk, we stayed in Mayfair as we always did so walking means you are going past stores.
What was different this time was that every time I looked at the store windows he would say let’s go in and have a look… something he never did on previous occasions, and every time I barely looked at an item he would ask me if I wanted it. Now, I did want it all of course, but I was playing the long game! I knew for a man like him spending a few thousand pounds on handbag or a few hundred on a shoe was nothing. I wanted more; I wanted him to trust me. So I wasn’t just being given a bag or shoe here and there I wanted to get to a place where I controlled what I want and when, that’s the long game.
So every time he asked if I wanted anything I would reply NO! Even though every fiber in me wanted to scream yes!! Finally Instagram flex was upon me!?
The day ended with a lovely dinner, he asked me why I didn’t allow him to buy me anything in the stores when I had just given him a gift. I told him I really didn’t want anything at the time, I just wanted to spend time with him. I also went on to tell him that I gave him a gift because I wanted to, I wasn’t expecting a payback. He looked at me for a while and said “you surprise me often” I smiled and kept eating. I knew it was all good for me!!?
This opened a door of trust and a new level for our relationship, He noticed that every time we were together people would stare at us and that I felt a little uncomfortable, even down to the waiters when he paid for meals etc, (I was reminded of the preconceived sugar baby notion with every stare) So I would bring out my purse to pay for meals just so the waiters don’t think too less of me. After this time, he took out his wallet while we sat in bed and told me passwords to his credit/bank cards, he jokingly told me to only Memorise 2 and told me I could Use them anytime I needed to pay for whatever. He joked and said “No Sugar baby would have access to Daddy’s Money, if you pay with my cards they’ll think you are my wife, would that make you a little more comfortable?” This was coming from a man who only a week or so ago gave me a whole speech because of an iPhone! I laughed and kept it moving and on occasions where I felt judged of less confident, he would pass me his wallet and I would take care of payments which made me feel little better !?
This was the beginning of a different kind of trust in our relationship! Suffice to say a few weeks later he handed me my own credit card with tens of thousands limit to use at my discretion! I truly became his partner, his business was mine, and mines his.
Six years down the line, I still give him gifts. I give much more than I receive and that is why there is not a thing on earth within his power that he could not give me if I wanted it, but this didn’t just happen, it took wisdom and a well defined purpose
I hope you’ve enjoyed this read! XOXO.