Sugar baby?

Sugar baby?

The term Sugar Baby seems to be a very touchy subject these days. In actual sense, it is almost associated with prostitution. I have been asked on very many occasions why I decided to call my blog  “orphan sugar baby mogul”. This is a discussion that has been held with Mr X countless times?. His simple question to me has been, “ Do you  consider yourself a sugar Baby?” now if you are new to  this blog, allow me to re-introduce myself….I am a 34 year old fine lady,  utterly in love with a 58 year old very handsome man here referred to as Mr X. And every time he asks, my response to him is NO.However, every time we are out, we get a few stares… why do you think that is? So he jokes “because people don’t understand how I got so lucky” well that might be true, However but that’s not it. People look at me and automatically think I am a sugar baby.  Perhaps  some don’t see it that way, but I bet you that’s what people see.  Now, I DONT CARE!. Like I stated in my past posts, I love my partner, he loves me,we are happy that need not be explained to anyone and I don’t need the world to understand that. So that is where the sugar baby part comes from. 

Dating an older man itself does not make one a sugar baby, it makes you a girl/lady/ woman in a relationship with a man. Age is irrelevant. What makes one a sugar baby is being in an arrangement type of relationship where the terms or conditions of that relationship are agreed upon based on what each party has to offer.

Alec and Hilaria Baldwin. Ages 61 and 34 respectively.

Dating a wealthy man or an older man doesn’t make you a sugar baby, a gold digger, a whore or whatever else people may choose to label women who have chosen to have certain standards for their lives. I have dated men my age and even  a few years younger, but with him ( Mr X), it was different from the word go. Age was never even a thing for us, i remember when i first met him, the first thing that struck me was his smile. He then went on to tell me that the age he had listed online was not true, he told me his real age.. and i was like ….. ok….. “sweetie, there is no room for truth online” its not like i listed my real age either… not that i was forthcoming as he was. i kept my little secret tucked away in my heart  

Ageing back centuries, women have dated men significantly older, I think it is the internet world that has ruined it. Yes,I said it. RUINED IT!! I say ruined it because it is now considered, a thirsty thing, or THOT behaviour, People assume Iam after his money. So while I am not technically a sugar baby I am regarded a sugar baby and I am fine with that. I sleep very well at night. I struggled with it at the beginning of my relationship, the fact that people looked at me funny, friends made sly comments …  one friend once looked at me with their lip scrunched up, “ he must be very old to own his own aircraft” at the time had no response, felt like had to hide who he is, felt judged, it made me unsure of the love had found. Heck! people so close to me made up stories, they called me an escort, called me all sorts of things that were hurtful and demeaning, all because of who I had chosen to love. With time,I learnt what happiness for me was. I looked at these people, looked at their lives and I realised there is nothing I admire about them,  I would’nt look twice at their partners?‍♀️. In actual fact,even if they were the last men on earth I would date them. I say this not to throw back insults, but to make you realise that YOU DO NOT NEED OTHERS TO APPROVE OF WHO YOU CHOSE TO LOVE. Think of people who miss out on love simply because they are afraid of what people will think or what their families would say. Look, “YOU WILL LEARN TO LOVE AND ACCEPT WHOEVER I CHOSE TO LOVE” 

Years ago a cousin of mine who had just lost her ex husband, to whom she was married after she got knocked up, came to me. She told me there was a man that was seriously interested in her. The man was successful and treated her well but she wasn’t sure because ( in her own words), he was short, ugly and much older. She was afraid of social stigma?.

A little background on my cousin, growing up she was one of the prettiest girls in the family and the neighbourhood. She was well spoken, travelled and classy. It was expected of her to be with a popular guy, young rich.…The full works!. Anyway,she got pregnant by some guy, had to get married to salvage the situation…. got divorced.??That in itself was a failed life. Getting together with a short, ugly older man would have been regarded as hitting rock bottom. Fast forward to when she told me of this man, I asked her if she liked him, she responded with a smile that no one had ever treated her the way this man treated her, she said he was persistent, wouldn’t take no for an answer. I said to her, listen…, if the only reason you won’t date this man is because you’re afraid of what people will say then you are stupid. Do these people keep you warm at night? do you live at their houses? would you date their husbands? told her to go ahead and date the man if she liked him enough. We laughed she called me crazy and went our ways. A few years down the line they got married, they have a beautiful family, she is inlove and living a happy life, he is a prominent politician, she sits at the Presidents tables, her home is a fortress, he has supported her family in many ways. Meanwhile all the other girls that laughed at her are still scraping for a dollar GIRL BYE!????

It is very important to be true to oneself. And hard as it may be,sometimes it is a whole journey to be ok with yourself. To understand that people’s opinions are just that, OPINIONS. .not FACT. Date whomever you want. Be ok in understanding that it might be a mistake, but so what? Make your own mistakes… learn from them. 

Just as before you get with a guy, any guy, you look at his prospects. What does he do? Does he have a job? Is he from a good family? all these things matter. You don’t just pick any guy from the lot and off you go, so why is it bad considered a BAD/THOT thing to want to date rich or prominent men? I tell you today, there is nothing wrong whatsoever with that! In fact I encourage it!!. Building wealth together is a good thing, marrying your high school or college sweetheart and building together is a beautiful thing, marrying or dating a man who is already rich is also a beautiful thing. Different kinds of beauty but yet all beautiful in its own way.

Of course dating an older guy comes with its perks. Most older guys have already done their fair share of stupid, so at that (older stage of their lives), they want someone to settle down with. This is not to say that all older guys are like that, trust me! Some just never out grow their stupid phases. Please pick them wisely?.

In most cases, older men that are brave enough to go for a younger lady, are financially comfortable,making it the reason people jump to the concusion that if a young woman is dating an older man she must be after his money. Oh well what can I say?…….. it really doesnt hurt  at all. And  I ,……if I may speak for those in the same boat as I, happily accept the perks that come with the love relationships we are in. I sincererly hope that you’ve enjoyed reading this and its brought a little clarity to thw whole sugar baby sugar daddy issue! i look forward to share more of our love journey in the next post XX