- May 31, 2018
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We all know how important positioning is in life. Being in the right place at the right time is sometimes all you need to get lucky.
This is however not by luck, this is a strategic move. Carefully and articulately planned. They say luck is when opportunity meets preparation .
So how do you set yourself up for luck in this respect?
- Knowing exactly what you want. I discussed briefly in my last post how important it is to define what it is you want from any relationship before you get into it. when i first met my partner knew exactly what i wanted from the relationship. what i expected from him . i knew i wanted love. i didn’t want to be his distraction or layover fun at the weekend. i wanted him to commit to me not just be interested in me. A distraction is in my opinion the girl he calls when he is bored. ‘Lets go for a drink’ “Netflix and chill” “ lets do dinner” “i’m in town, wanna meet up? then after that meet up, no texts or calls until next time” that says to me he is not interesting enough to want more than just a lay with you. Or lets go away this weekend, but really you know thats just it. A free holiday, maybe a designer gift or two, but really, no substance. Or would you like to have all that with someone who wants more than just a night or weekend, who shares his life with you, who is invested and committed to you…….
- Research. I know, I know …. It’s love we are talking about here. But every smart girl knows it can also be a battlefield these days. Lets be honest it seems like the guys are out there for one thing and one thing only, ( unless you are also looking for that one thing only, in that case, you are square ?)….. and even when we try, ( not to mention that most time we are trying the wrong things) it doesn’t feel like we are winning in any way. So, as the good book says, ‘no man ventures into any project with considering the costs’. i have a very close friend who taught me how to be street smart. she always said to me “ Honey every person has a weakness, and winning is knowing what that is ” that in other ways that means, you have to get to at least know the other party. so who is the guy you want? ( don’t know them by name, but by type) what kind of guy do you want? and that guy, what is he looking for? and how then do you become the solution to his problem ? See its that simple. RESEARCH RESEARCH RESEARCH !!!!!!! to be honest girls, its not even rocket Science, the answers are in movies, reality tv, romance novels, our daily lives really. you just have to open your eyes, open your mind and look. Really look with good intentions and you’ll find the answers. Heck!! we all have that friend who’s been on a fair number of dates, or knows the scoop on everyones relationship. Don’t just sit there sipping tea, learn something!!!! My mom used to tell me always when I was young that mistakes are there for us to learn from, if we don’t lean from them, what then is the point of making them? So learn from your own dating mistakes and those of others. The one thing i learnt earlier on from a friend of mine when it came to dating men of a certain social state , is not go there and fake accents ….seriously every time i heard her speak to these guys i cringed!! now i am her friend, …. imagine how much the person on the other end of the line is feeling?
- Be the solution. After you’ve identified what you want, done your research, you now need to work on being the solution. Working on the solution is not an overnight thing, it takes time. but one has to be open minded enough to be teachable, to change ones mindset. We all see these other women that are winning, girls who married rich powerful men, living their best lives……women winning in different areas of their lives, be it businesses, careers etc, whatever the case, some women are winning, and then there are some of us who spend most of the times scrolling through our feeds, looking at these women, being *inspired*, passing judgement, hating and secretly envying, wishing it was us. The most important think to consider when we see these women is to think what they went thought to get where they are. what sacrifices they had to make to win. it is very easy to look at people an think “ oh wow!! i wish i had that!, if only i met a guy like that!! if only my business flourished as much! etc but we forgot nothing comes easy. its a process of learning, making sacrifices ,being smart etc.There are those that are lucky enough to have it very easy, but i can assure you they are only less than a handful. Even Meghan Markle will tell you what having all that fairly takes, she has had to jump hurdles, make sacrifices, read a book or two to learn how things are done the royal way, she has had hours of learning to to walk right, eat right, talk to people, heck how to smile graciously!! it takes work.!!!!!!!!!